[Intro]
(It's meant to be Drop D but it really doesn't matter if you're just playing 
the intro this way.)
Can be played through the verses if duetting.

E|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
B|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
G|-------5---4--------5---4-------5--4-------5--4--------------------------|
D|-----2---2-------2----2-------2---2------2---2---------------------------|
A|---0-----------0------------0----------0---------------------------------|
D|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|

E|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
B|-------3------------3------------1---1-------1---1-----------------------|
G|-----5---5-4------5---5-4------4---4-------4---4-------------------------|
D|---4------------4------------3-----------3-------------------------------|
A|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
D|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|


[Verse 1]

Am
Oh, well imagine, as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor, and I
Dm                                              F
can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words:
Am
"What a beautiful wedding! What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter. (yes)
Dm                                        F                  (shh)
"but what a shame, what a shame, the poor groom's bride is a whore."


[Chorus]

Am                    F                   Dm                G
I chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
Am             F                   Dm                              G
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
Am                     F                    Dm                G
I chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
Am             F                   Dm
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of...


[Verse 2]

Am
Oh, well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved
Dm                               F
Well this calls for, a toast so, pour the champagne
Am
Oh! Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved
Dm                            F
Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne, pour the champagne


[Interlude]

F Dm F G


[Chorus]

Am                     F                    Dm                G
I chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
Am             F                   Dm                              G
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.


[Bridge]

Am   F   F
Again...


[Chorus]

Am                     F                    Dm                G
I chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
Am             F                   Dm                              G
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
Am                     F                    Dm                G
I chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
Am             F                    Dm                             G
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.


[Optional Outro]

Am             F                   Dm                               Am
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of