[Verse 1]
         C          Bm7        Am7         G
You know Keith and Patrick and Victor and Jeff
C         Bm7       Am7        G
Dan O'Brien and Timonte and Ralph and Antonio
Em           A
But do you recall
         A7                 D7
The biggest nose of them all

[Chorus]
G
Jeff the big nose bandit
                 D
Had a very obtuse nose
D
And if you ever saw it
                      G
You would even say it blows
G
All of the other children
                           D
Used to laugh and squeeze his nose
D
They never let poor Jeffrey
                      G
Blow his very big ass nose

[Verse 2]
C              G
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
C             G
Patrick came to say
D
Jeffrey with your nose so big
A7                 D7
Won't you cut that wood instead

[Outro]
G
Then how the cildren loved him
                         D
As they shouted out with glee
D
Jeff the big nose bandit
                  G
You'll go down in nose history