[Intro]
G

[Verse 1] 
G
Why is cannibalism such a shame?
We do not mourn the fruit,
                              D
for they have no souls so why claim,
C
but your grandma is a vegetable by no other name.
G                 D
Why is cannibalism such a shame?

[Instrumental]
G

[Verse 2] 
G
Why can't I be friends with small children?
                                              D
Just because some jackass couldn't keep it in his pants.
C
Now I feel like a perv because I enjoy toys and own a van.
G                                 D
Why can't I be friends with small children?

[Chorus]
Em                            C
I don't understand why I cant eat humans,
D                     G
or why I shouldn't believe in magic
Em
and I don't know why all my songs should rhyme
C                              D
But the fact that I give in just makes me barf.

[Instrumental]
G

[Verse 3] 
G
I'm so glad we put them in their place.
                                                  D
A tree don't even have a brain and it's taking up space.
C
The universe was manufactured just to house the human race
G                               D
I'm so glad we put them in their place.

[Instrumental]
G

[Verse 4] 
G
Why is cannibalism frowned upon?
                                             D
What do you think we'd do if all the animals were gone?
C
All these poor pretentious people producing their porky spawn
G                         D
Why is cannibalism frowned upon?

[Chorus]
Em                                C
I don't understand why I cant eat humans
D                          G
or why I shouldn't believe in magic.
Em 
And I don't know why all my songs should rhyme
C
but the fact that I give in.
D
Just makes me want to barf.